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How did you deal with the sexual frustration? It was pretty intense, but I had a few hobbies I could let my rage out on. Skating was my main channel, but I was also smoking a ton of weed, cycling and was re-united with my right hand, which I was pretty content with at that point, to be honest. Were you trying to hit on girls or did you just not care? After being in a long-term relationship I really did not give a shit about girls and was content just hanging with my boys. Having sex after so long felt euphoric, like losing my virginity again. How did you eventually break the spell? At the time I was living somewhere that was really close to a skate spot by the river.

I had noticed this girl — she'd been hanging out there for a few days — and when she approached me for a lighter I thought, 'Fuck it,' and just told her I lived 15 minutes up the road and had weed and asked if she wanted to come kick it and smoke. We went back to mine and it went down pretty much as soon as we got in. What was it like having sex again after so long? It all happened really fast, but it was pretty good. The next day I felt euphoric, like I'd lost my virginity all over again. VICE: Okay, how long are we talking? Beth: Well, I'd just moved away from London and had slept with someone quite quickly in my new city, but had decided I was disinterested.

When I realised that I actually really liked them — their nose, their music taste and teeth — they'd completely changed their mind and gone off me. What then followed was seven months of absolutely nothing. Were you heartbroken and hiding, or just having no luck?

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The city I moved to was populated by really contented couples in walking shoes who make tabbouleh together. I didn't know anyone single, and was finding that maybe because it's smaller there wasn't such a breezy culture of meeting someone while out and going home with them. Either that, or no one fancied me and I was just trying to make excuses.

I fancied a few people but it was all unreciprocated. Also, Tinder in that city was just full of boys riding ostriches, which I don't find attractive. Not so well, because my best friend and flatmate really enjoyed mocking me about it.

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It also makes you such a melancholy drunk. I think one of the weirdest side effects of it was that you don't necessarily realise how much of female small talk is based around people asking about your love life, so when you have nothing to offer in a club toilet conversation it makes you feel super dull, like you're not any longer privy to that level of female bonding. Did you not throw yourself into any exciting new hobbies or activities to take your mind off it? Looking at boys on ostriches on Tinder.

First Time

After seven months you lose all your inner thigh sinew so being on top feels like acroyoga. Can it be a self-perpetuating cycle? Like the longer it went on the harder it got to break?


I think I was having the problem that a lot of people our age have. In your twenties, the rate at which you meet people stagnates.

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How did you eventually break the curse? I came back to London and went to a house party where a really unattractive man who looked like a butterbean was flattering me with a lot of coke, and despite being really repulsed by him, I went back to his and ended up having sex with him, drunk as a lord. Incidentally, I ended up having sex with two different people the week after, and then someone else the week after that. What was it like having sex again?

Did you regain your confidence afterwards?

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The first time with the butterbean was more for the sake of self-esteem, which obviously backfires when you are repulsed by the person. In a way, it felt like losing your virginity, in that you are just doing it for the sake of sakes. Also, in seven months you lose all inner thigh sinew, so being on top feels like acroyoga. VICE: Tell me about your dry spell. Robbie: I'd been sleeping with my friend's sister. I'm generally quite shy when it comes to girls and it had taken me months of encouragement to make a move, but I eventually did it and we started sleeping together every time we saw each other, but she lived down south and I was at university up north.

She put a stop to it when we started acting like a couple and getting closer. It was the right thing to do, but I took it badly and my dry spell started soon after that. In the next two-and-a-half years I slept with one person, once. Why was it so hard to break? I spent most of university mainly sitting in my room getting stoned and listening to music. I didn't go out much, and if I did, I would go to a club and get fucked up, so I wasn't really looking to pull, or in a suitable state to be taken home by anybody. Also, I showered once a week. I was pretty gross, to be honest.

A lot of wanking. I also started going to the gym, but I would go after getting high and would spend most of the time in the gym being prang as fuck and concentrating on what other people were doing instead of actually working out. It sounds like the celibacy was related to other stuff going on in your life Yeah, in the long run it really fucked with my head and partially led to a mental breakdown in the summer after I graduated. One of the things that was on my mind a lot was my sexuality; I was starting to doubt it and think that maybe the reason I wasn't getting with any girls was because I wasn't attracted to them, and that they in turn weren't attracted to me because they somehow knew my real sexual preference which I had not realised yet.

My head was fucked. How did you finally break the dry spell? I moved back home and hit up this girl who I'd dated before I left. What did the sex feel like? I was really unconfident and worried. On the second date, we went into Chester for lunch, had dinner… did all the usual things two people getting to know one another do. I could tell we were getting closer. Then after dinner one night we went back to his house and, well, it seemed the most natural thing in the world to take our relationship to the next step.

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Sex was the icing on the cake — the cherry on top. We married in and are still blissfully happy.

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  • I knew I wanted a relationship with him and, strange as it sounds, sex might have spoiled that. She did and soon we were sending messages to one another. He was living in Pontefract and I was in Ireland but just about to return to Yorkshire. A few weeks later, I invited him over to celebrate my birthday. We both felt so strongly about one another so quickly we wanted to firm the foundations before we jumped into bed. In fact, we hung on for two more dates — even though both times he came up to the room for a nightcap and a bit of a kiss and cuddle — but on the fourth date that was it, nature took its course.

    And next month, on May 31, my birthday and almost five years to the day of our first date, I finally become Mrs Booth. Deal totally done! Olga Frankow, 30, and her husband of two years Rafael, 27, live in East London. Olga works in an investment bank and Rafael at an accessories distribution company.

    It was March and two friends and I had gone out to visit a friend who was living in Krakow, Poland. At first I tried to brush him off, but my friends nudged me and told me to go for it so we danced.

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    • He told me his name was Rafael and then we went over to the bar to have a drink. He is Austrian and was there on holiday with friends, male and female. He was so lovely — charming, sweet, kind — and I could feel my heart racing. I really liked him. We had so much in common and he was intelligent and witty. We had the most romantic bubble bath together and then made love. However, when I got home a couple of days later, there was an email waiting. It was from Rafael. We Skyped continuously and a month later he came to visit me for 10 days. I was blown away. It was hard being apart but we tried to see one another once a month until, just over a year after meeting, Rafael got a job near me and we moved in together.

      A year after that my work brought us to London and we married on December 1,